Stupid Jokes, concerts and things that are sooo good.,

I took Erin home from school yesterday. I saw her waiting on the bus as I was walking along to the car, and thought it was ridiculous that she would be on the bus for like 45minutes, when I could get her home in eight. And she’s not out of the way or anything. We talked about what happened at school. Between me and Elle. She said people are saying we got into an argument and I threw the CD’s at her. Well, not ‘threw’, but flung them at her. I told her that’s not how it happened. I wasn’t even angry really, you know. She’s making things up now. We talked a little about Barry. He’s a good guy. A good football player and he and I were good friends until this thing happened with me and Elle. Now, he hardly has two words to say to me.

I walked Erin up to the house and no one was home when we got there. I asked her if I could come in, which probably wasn’t really the wisest idea I’ve ever had. We sat and watched some TV for a few minutes. I took her hand and traced along her fingers and insider her palm. She’s ticklish there, by the way. It was funny. I would look over at her, and she wouldn’t look back. But I could tell she knew I was watching her. Then after a bit, I asked her if I could kiss her. She was still a little nervous. She started breathing deeply and her skin went flush really quick. I kissed her bottom lip. Really slowly- I thought any sudden moves would send her into a tailspin. Especially when I asked her if we could go to her room. She wanted to know why, and got a little defensive, but I told her just to see her room, you know. She took some coaxing, but we finally went to her room. I asked her to please not be shy with me. If she wanted me, she could say so- because I wanted her and I didn’t want it to be a one time thing with us. We were alone, and no one was around. She didn’t have to be shy. I wouldn’t let anything bad happen, so she didn’t have to feel nervous either.She seemed surprised a little that I said it. But when I went to kiss her, she kissed me back. We sat on the end of her bed, just making out for a while. Then she allowed me to undress her- well, for the most part, she did.

She was really scared to let me see her, or for me to even touch her. But she’s beautiful. Her body is gorgeous. She has freckles on her shoulders. Her hair is long and dark and covers her shoulders, but when I pulled her hair back a little to kiss her neck, I saw them. She has a strawberry birthmark on her hip. It looks like a flower to me. I leaned back for a while, resting on my elbow, just looking at her sitting on the bed beside me with her long hair covering her up, and just about nothing else. She was playing with my bracelet and I was twisting my fingers in her hair. We talked about what it meant for us to be going out. I asked her if I could be her boyfriend and she asked why. I said cause I like her and thought she was beautiful. Then I started kissing her, and began touching her in her private place. She was really quiet at first, but then I could tell she liked it, so I eased her back and kissed her there too. She was so nervous that I could feel her shaking. But I held her hand and tried to make her comfortable. Then I finished undressing and she said she was cold, so we got under her covers and I made love to her.

I got dressed in silence, we both did. She was worried that her Dad would be home soon and her sister would be getting home too. I was just thinking about what my Dad had told me. I did take it to heart, you know- the part about catching a disease, or making a girl pregnant. And we still haven’t found the time to get tested, and I haven’t talked about it with Erin, so I did wear a condom. I guess if it keeps happening, we should talk about it. I mean, the making love part. I say ‘make love’ pretty nonchalantly, but I know there’s a difference. I mean, in my mind, there is a difference. Where I know I’v never been in love with anyone, I know that there’s been only one girl that I cared about when it came to sex. I wont name any names. She’s knows. We’d only did it a few times, but I was totally into her. She knew I wasn’t just there for sex. And the same is true with Erin. I won’t pull that ‘I don’t care’ crap with her- that I normally do with girls. I want it nice and gentle and be able to take all the time she wants, kiss her, hold her, give her whatever she wants- however she wants. Not like most other girls, where I didn’t really even care how it went. I just would put it where it goes and do what I wanted until I’d had enough. Then it was over and I was trying to get away as fast as possible.

Erin made me feel like I didn’t have to be that guy. Tough and rough and having the hot girlfriend all the time. I felt like I could tell Erin my stupid jokes, talk to her about football, go to a rock concert with her, take her out to this horrible little joint way out almost out of town where I love to eat, but I normally wouldn’t take any girl there, cause it’s so greasy and sort of not a place to take a date. Erin was cool like that. AND- not to forget, she lets me do those other private things with her that are soooo good.