Jason meets Freddy scary.

Friday’s are really tough for me sometimes. It’s just that I have a lot to cram into a short amount of time. When football is on, I go from school, I have football until about 6, then Chapel at 7, then I work from about 830 to sometimes 1 or 2 in the morning. Then, I’m back at work at 8 on most Saturday’s until 3 or 4, but I stay late when they are short handed. Then I’m off Sunday, of course and that’s when I spend the most time with my family and with Elle. Since football has ended, it’s sort of easy now. Elle does spring sports. She will run track this year, and I think that will start up pretty soon. She plays JV Volleyball too, but she’s deciding if she will play this year or not. I don't think I will mind watching her play volleyball, but girl's track and field has never interested me much.

Elle calls me after work on Fridays, but we can’t talk long, it’s just more of a, 'good night, see you tomorrow.' type thing. But it’s good going to sleep after hearing her voice. It sort of calms me right down and gives me something nice to think about it. I can’t wait for Saturday evening cause that’s when I really get to chill out and relax.

Tonight was really long and drawn out at work though. I generally go in a bit early and can talk to the guys that work the register, but for some reason it was really busy and I had to get right to work. There were boxes in the isles and people complaining about not being able to get around, so I was rushing trying to put stuff away, and the manager was getting on my case the whole night. I mean, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to do what I do, but I do a good job and I don’t hide from work, and I try to help people if I can. I don’t mind taking groceries out to cars, even when it’s snowing out- but tonight, with us being so busy, my manager was looking for me to get my normal job done, and plus they were short on the register, so I went to help them up front, so I ended up leaving my normal job behind and he made me stay to stock and inventory and he let the cashiers go early. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He’s a real prick sometimes, that guy. I hope tomorrow is better.

I saw Sara tonight. It used to be hard seeing her on Friday’s at Chapel after being with her on Thursday. Now, it’s not really hard, it’s just sort of routine- uncomfortable. I fantasize about her a lot. And that’s kind of scary. Not scary in a Jason meets Freddy way, but a – 'wow, I shouldn’t be thinking these things.’ kind of scary. I think mostly about her bottom and her lips. Her lips are just like what I imagine silk should be like. And her bottom sort of puts me in thie vulnerable place. I can see her on Friday and Sunday Mass, and then Wednesday Devotion and I watch her walking around and I can’t take my eyes off her cause what’s running through my mind is that my hands have been all over her, and Thursday, they will be again. What happens between us is pretty amazing to me. It’s like better than any good feeling I’ve ever had with Elle- I just wish it was with Elle- I think. Don’t get me wrong, I get to kiss Elle. But it’s really innocent for the most part. It’s more pecking than really kissing. She kisses me all day at school. But it’s sweet and quick and over.

When we are alone and able to really relax with each other, it’s very innocent and calculated on my part. I want to go as far as to keep her satisfied, but not so far as I’m wanting to go too far. That’s happened twice that I can remember. One was prom, and I think she was under a lot of pressure from people at school to do it, and the other was her parents anniversary party where we both snuck a bit to drink and I had to do my level best to keep her in clothes and out of bed.
Elle is really special and beautiful and I like spending that time with her. But it’s Sara that I lay in bed and think about most nights.