Musical Tents

I was pretty upset the other night. Like stupid-upset and I really let it get to me like an idiot. I was one of the last people to show up at the lake and started to throw back beers like the moment I got there. Joe and Barry were telling me to take it easy, and I guess that’s a good thing cause it meant I didn’t get totally wasted.

We sat around and talked a lot about the past season and we threw the ball around in our headlights. Then we had some food cooked on the fire and were talking about coming out again next weekend. All of a sudden, Elle becomes the topic of conversation and I’m thinking to myself- please, please no one ask me- don’t’ talk to me, don’t look at me. It was the girls that brought her up first, and suddenly the guys jumped right in asking about prom. We were all taking a limo together- 8 of us anyway, but I have no clue what’s going to happen now. Then one of the guys asked ‘Where’s Elle?” and one of the girls whispered “They broke up.” And I had to pretend not to hear it. Barry handed me a beer. Then he nudged me and pointed to this girl. Then he told me, she wants me to talk to her. Go talk to her. I knew the girl. She’s a cheerleader and I know she’s been at Elle’s house a couple times when I was there. I didn’t want to talk to her. So, I avoided her for a couple hours. Then midnight came around and some of the people had to go home and it only left a handful of us there on the lake. We’d put up four tents for all of us, two guys in one, and two girls in one, Joey and Mandy in one and I crammed in with Barry and Jonas and Erin, the girl I was avoiding was going in herself. And if you know anything about guys when they get together, all they were doing in there was telling me to go in there with Erin.

It eventually turned into a wrestling match and the two of them pushed me out of the tent. So, I went and talked to Erin. We had a couple of drinks in the tent by flashlight and I made small talk. I'm not good at small talk. I was already really annoyed, and not really polite. And I have noticed that when I have a couple of drinks, I get really snappy and irritated and cocky and rude. Then, knowing myself- I can safely say the alcohol was talking when I made a pass at her.

It was just playful on my part, I wasn’t really thinking anything would happen, that would just be too cliché, I thought. Then I just started making these remarks. I can’t remember what you call them, but there’s a word for it. Like everything she would say, I would make it dirty, or turn it into a joke, or something rude. Now thinking about it- I was a real jerk to her. I don’t really remember that much but I remember saying to her – well we can have sex right now if you want. And she said she was a virgin, and I said – well you don’t have to be. I think I was trying my hand at how fast I could get a girl to slap me, but she just went along with my behavior and never batted an eye. I said to her too- You want me to kiss you? And she was shrugging her shoulders and not saying a lot. I asked her if she was shy and she said yeah. I told her- well, I’m not. And I kissed her. She was really shy and quiet and she never once told me not to, so, I just went further and further until I had undressed us both and I started to get a conscious and asked her if she really wanted this to happen, cause I was just fooling around and she didn't have to do anything but she said it was okay.

Yeah, so we did it. It was safe- before you think it and I was nice to her. I mean it wasn’t like what happens when I’m with Sara. I wasn’t just running myself into her trying to get to the end. I kissed her and touched her a little bit, just to help her get ready and for anyone like me that doesn’t know a lot about it- it is true that girls bleed a little the first time. I thought it was some urban legend or something, but it’s true.

But anyway, I was as soft and slow to her as I could be. She told me ‘stop’ and ‘wait’ a lot at first and I did just what she asked. Then when it got easier for her and she stopped pausing me, I did ask her if she was still okay with it. And it was nice being with her and sleeping next to her. Then, just before it was getting light outside she asked if we could do it again.

My head’s been light all morning. I’m glad I’m not really hung over and I’m glad I met Erin- really glad about that. Barry and Jonas couldn’t wait to poke at me this morning. But they were at least civilized since Erin was still there. I took her home and she lives two blocks over from me. I guess I never noticed that before. But I got her number. What can happen next?